Yeah that’s the word that best describes my thoughts today. Between job interviews, job searches, moving day is tomorrow and the current landlord basically chomping on my heels in an apparent hurry to give me the boot, it ain’t a good time nor a good feeling. I usually have a partner helping with all of this. Now it’s a solo act.

I didn’t cry when my attorney sent me the email stating the process is complete. But inward, I wash shaking. I was blindsided, never saw this coming. never thought it would happen. No, not crying but so sad inside. I confess to being afraid of the future now. Nothing seems fully stable, nothing seems certain. One day at a time is all I can handle.

About John

John is a native of Michigan, the Great Lakes State, he is 56 years young and retired. I've been using WordPress since 2000 with various websites both self-hosted and the side. Thanks for visiting my website!

23 Responses

  1. I can only agree with all of the above. You got everything lumped together … in one fell swoop. But deep down … amongst all the sadness, nervousness and all that, you KNOW you’ll make it. There just isn’t any alternative, so keep that in mind, and baby steps. Try and think back of other crap that has happened in your life, and how you got out of it, basically unscathed. I do that, at times, and in hindsight it seems unbelievable I survived … but here I am! Best of luck. Sending all prayers and positive energy I can …

    1. Thank you sooo much Rebekah! This is my third and final time I’ll go through this shit. I bet you didn’t know it was number three aye? Maybe I did tell you that….

            1. 12 years, that’s great! I shouldn’t remarry because I’m just too difficult a personality. And, I have two diseases. My lifespan has certainly been shortened.

              1. I don’t know whether I’m a difficult personality. Probably, but it depends on who you ask. The only person one can change is oneself (and I believe only so much).

  2. Seems everything they list as the top 5 most stressful things to go through and you are doing them altogether!! This will be the making of you John although I appreciate it feels anything but at the moment. Small steps my friend. Be kind to yourself for whatever has gone before has now passed and you have chance to make a new beginning. Like you said, one day at a time ..

    1. Thank you Deb, so kind!! I realized the other day just how much crap is lumped together here. Feels like I’m going to sink some days yet the light is there at the end of the tunnel. I think situations like this can make us stronger.

      1. Yes my Grandma use to say ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ – that became my mantra for quite a long while! You will feel like Superman when all this settles down 🙂

  3. I “liked” this post, but don’t like it at all John. Finality and change all at once is so hard, my heart goes out to you. As you said, one day at a time- once you are settled in a new place I hope it is easier. I hope the feeling of sadness will dissipate too as you start over. Lots of loss at once, allow yourself to grieve a bit my friend. Keep us posted

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